I continue to marvel at just how much giving my time and effort to this platform has transformed me. GOD is truly at work through some amazing women in my life. I draw strength from… More
If you are anything like me – I have days when it’s literally a struggle to get out of bed. Last week’s heat, the school run making a re-entry, juggling the day to day hustles of life and such – all of it – took a toll on me. I was bedridden for a day with a severe migraine and inexplicably high blood pressure, which the doctor attributed to stress. Stress I could accept – possibly…but nah! “Do you have a history of blood pressure issues in your family?” the doc asked. I thought about Mainini Tsitsi who passed away from a brain aneurism triggered by high levels of blood pressure. She was 21 when she died. I thought of my gran who sometimes experiences swollen limbs when hers peaks. “Surely no” I thought to myself. The challenge though was that each doctor visit this year had comes back with some irregularities in my BP – and that was beginning to throw a wrench in my positivity.
I’m in my bed as a type this out, suffering from the equivalent of writer’s block to a writer and lack of inspiration to a creative. My mind is telling me that I cannot let fear of ill health, and my body feeling a certain kind of way – keep me from pushing along – but my body really is tired. I was talking to my girlfriends just yesterday, wherein I asked if they ever feel like checking into a hotel, closing the curtains and sleeping for days on end – waking up to order room service and have a shower. What a relief to hear them all chime in “Yeap! I feel like that now!”
It’s important to take stock of what’s happening to your mind, body and soul, establishing root causes for any feelings that are contrary to what you would rather be experiencing. I woke up with a plan yesterday, but turned around and checked myself in for a massage because I felt I needed the quiet and the de-stressing. I’m soaking myself in some good content to restore all the flowery inspiration that keeps me soldiering on. I understand more than anything, that sometimes when I’ve been doing too much too fast – GOD has a way of making me take time away to refuel. So that’s what today and tomorrow will be about; taking time away to do nothing at all….
A dear friend of mine unexpectedly lost someone very close to her. Over the past few days, we’ve shared several conversations on the impact of death to families, and just how much we often times take the very essence of living for granted. I’ve also in recent weeks, not only turned a year older, but come to realise the magnitude of responsibilities that come with being an adult. Thinking about it all can create a tad bit of anxiety to be honest…
Life is a gift, a precious one at that – but how many of us are actually taking time to really smell that morning brew or listen to the sound of birds chirping outside our windows. The difficult thing about growing older, is that it also seems a little like the world expects more from us. Time commands more out of us; people need more from us, goals keep staring at you – often times leaving us sapped.
I read an inspired piece by Og Mandino the other day, that really spoke to me about how we ought to live our lives and thought to share it with y’all…
17 RULES TO LIVE BY From A Better Way to Live BY: OG MANDINO
1. Count your blessings. Once you realize how valuable you are and how much you have going for you, the smiles will return, the sun will break out, the music will play and you will finally be able to move forward toward the life that God intended for you…with grace, strength, courage and confidence.
2. Today, and every day, deliver more than you are getting paid to do. The victory of success will be half won when you learn the secret of putting out more than is expected in all that you do. Make yourself so valuable in your work that eventually you will become indispensable. Exercise your privilege to go the extra miles, and enjoy all the rewards you receive. You deserve them!
3. Whenever you make a mistake or get knocked down by life, don’t look back at it too long. Mistakes are life’s way of teaching you. Your capacity for occasional blunders is inseparable from your capacity to reach your goals. No one wins them all, and your failures, when they happen, are just part of your growth. Shake off your blunders. How will you know your limits without an occasional failure? Never quit. Your turn will come.
4. Always reward your long hours of labor and toil in the very best way, surrounded by your family. Nurture their love carefully, remembering that your children need models, not critics, and your own progress will hasten when you constantly strive to present your best side to your children. And even if you have failed at all else in the eyes of the world, if you have a loving family, you are a success.
5. Build this day on a foundation of pleasant thoughts. Never fret at any imperfections that you fear may impede your progress. Remind yourself, as often as necessary, that you are a creature of God and have the power to achieve any dream by lifting up your thoughts. You can fly when you decide that you can. Never consider defeat again. Let the vision in your heart be in your life’s blueprint. Smile!
6. Let your actions always speak for you, but be forever on guard against the terrible traps of false pride and conceit that can halt your progress. The next time you are tempted to boast, just place your fist in a full pail of water, and when you remove it, the hole remaining will give you a correct measure of your importance.
7. Each day is a special gift from God, and while life may not always be fair, you must never allow the pains, hurdles, and handicaps of the moment to poison your attitude and plans for yourself and your future. You can never win when you wear the ugly cloak of self-pity, and the sour sound of whining will certainly frighten away any opportunity for success. Never again. There is a better way.
8. Never again clutter your days or nights with so many menial and unimportant things that you have no time to accept a real challenge when it comes along. This applies to play as well as work. A day merely survived is no cause for celebration. You are not here to fritter away your precious hours when you have the ability to accomplish so much by making a slight change in your routine. No more busywork. No more hiding from success. Leave time, leave space, to grow. Now. Now! Not tomorrow!
9. Live this day as if it will be your last. Remember that you will only find “tomorrow” on the calendars of fools. Forget yesterday’s defeats, and ignore the problems of tomorrow. This is it. Doomsday. All you have. Make it the best day of your year. The saddest words you can ever utter are, “If I had my life to live over again…” Take the baton, now. Run with it! This is your day!
10. Beginning today, treat everyone you meet, friend or foe, loved one or stranger, as if they were going to be dead at midnight. Extend to each person, no matter how trivial the contact, all the care and kindness and understanding and love that you can muster, and do it with no thought of any reward. Your life will never be the same again. 17 RULES TO LIVE BY [Og Mandino] 2
11. Laugh at yourself and at life. Not in the spirit of derision or whining self-pity, but as a remedy, a miracle drug, that will ease your pain, cure your depression, and help you to put in perspective that seemingly terrible defeat of the moment. Banish tension and concern and worry with laughter at your predicaments, thus freeing your mind to think clearly toward the solution that is certain to come. Never take yourself too seriously.
12. Never neglect the little things. Never skimp on that extra effort, that additional few minutes, that soft word of praise or thanks, that delivery of the very best that you can do. It does not matter what others think, it is of prime importance, however, what you think about you. You can never do your best, which should always be your trademark, if you are cutting corners and shirking responsibilities. You are special. Act it. Never neglect the little things.
13. Welcome every morning with a smile. Look on the new day as another special gift from your Creator, another golden opportunity to complete what you were unable to finish yesterday. Be a selfstarter. Let your first hour set the theme of success and positive action that is certain to echo through your entire day. Today will never happen again. Don’t waste it with a false start or no start at all. You were not born to fail.
14. You will achieve your grand dream, a day at a time, so set goals for each day-not long and difficult projects, but chores that will take you, step by step, toward your rainbow. Write them down, if you must, but limit your list so that you won’t have to drag today’s undone matters into tomorrow. Remember that you cannot build your pyramid in twenty-four hours. Be patient. Never allow your day to become so cluttered that you neglect your most important goal-to do the best you can, enjoy this day and rest satisfied with what you have accomplished.
15. Never allow anyone to rain on your parade and thus cast a pall of gloom and defeat on the entire day. Remember that no talent, no self-denial, no brains, no character, are required to set up in the faultfinding business. Nothing external can have any power over you unless you permit it. Your time is too precious to be sacrificed in wasted days combating the menial forces of hate, jealousy and envy. Guard your fragile life carefully. Only God can shape a flower, but any foolish child can pull it to pieces.
16. Search for the seed of good in every adversity. Master that principle and you will own a precious shield that will guard you well through all the darkest valleys you must traverse. Stars may be seen from the bottom of a deep well, when they cannot be discerned from the mountaintop. So will you learn things in adversity that you would never have discovered without trouble? There is always a seed of good. Find it and prosper.
17. Realize that true happiness lies within you. Waste no time and effort searching for peace and contentment and joy in the world outside. Remember that there is no happiness in having or in getting, but only in giving. Reach out. Share. Smile. Hug. Happiness is a perfume you cannot pour on others without getting a few drops on yourself.
— From A Better Way to Live by Og Mandino
Nobody heard him, the dead man,But still he lay moaning:I was much further out than you thoughtAnd not waving but drowning.
Poor chap, he always loved larkingAnd now he’s deadIt must have been too cold for him his heart gave way, They said.
Oh, no no no, it was too cold always (Still the dead one lay moaning)I was much too far out all my lifeAnd not waving but drowning.
‘For I am a stranger with You,A sojourner, as all my fathers were.’
“But Zion said, “The Lord has forsaken me, And my Lord has forgotten me.Can a woman forget her nursing child, And not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, Yet I will not forget you.See, I have inscribed you on the palms of My hands;Your walls are continually before Me.Your sons shall make haste;Your destroyers and those who laid you wasteShall go away from you.”(Isaiah 49:14-17)“Hear my cry, O God, listen to my prayer; from the end of the earth I call to you when my heart is faint. Lead me to the rock that is higher than I, for you have been my refuge, a strong tower against the enemy.”(Psalm 61:1-3)
Both my grandfathers were headmasters. I never met my paternal grandfather but one thing that my maternal grandfather – and for that fact grandmother as well – never got tired of drumming into our heads was the important of education. I have always interpreted this to mean both formal and informal education. My definition of informal education is learning from the lessons that life presents to you.
One such lesson lies in the importance of saving and having realistic financial goals. The truth is you don’t have to be earning millions to start. In life i believe it is always the first step that is the hardest and therefore the most powerful. It is important to start where you are. The rule of thumb is always to save 10% of what you earn whatever that may be after your tithes and other obligations.
I am passionate about women being financially intelligent because I find it upsetting when we can spend eye-watering amounts on our hair, make up, shoes and clothes but not put a cent aside for a rainy day. Please don’t get me wrong, i want to look good like the next person but as my dad always says, “All those things will never end, so sacrificing ‘shopping money’ in order to start putting away money for investments; your pension etc. seems like a small price to pay. Life really is about reaping what we sow…”
Below are some principles that I apply to my life:
- Tithing – there is something powerful about giving back to God the first 10% of your income – Malachi 3v 10 -12
- Take the time out to prepare a realistic budget ( see article on budgeting)
- Save at least 10% of your income every month
- Have a rainy day fund which should be 8 times what your monthly expenses are.
- Pray and work towards having multiple streams of income. Now for everyone this may be as simple as taking the time out every couple of months to de-clutter your home and sell things you may not need anymore. Seek God to show you what else you can do to bring in extra cash.
- Set savings goals. Establish what it is you are saving for exactly. For instance, if you would like to buy your first piece of land in the particular area of town, and you’ve done your research, you can pretty much give a ball-park figure of what it will cost you to buy that land per square meter. Maybe you are working towards the purchase of your first car. Knowing that it will cost you $5000 to buy the car and another $5000 to get it shipped over, coupled with the dreaded duty costs – you have figure in mind that you need to work towards. Your target is $10,000 and it will cost you X amount to save it. Creating a goal, or reason for your saving is important because it gives you focus.
I heard a very sad but common story about a woman whose husband died in a tragic car accident and left the family with nothing but debts that sadly she was unaware of. What makes this situation even more painful is that for the better part of the last 10 years the widow was a ‘kept woman’ who allowed her husband to handle EVERY single aspect of their finances, to the extent that on the day that he died because he handled all their finances and gave her an ‘allowance’ all she had to her name was $10…
She is now finds herself in a situation where the family has no vehicle as it was a complete write off – and that was the least of the struggles that ensued. Said lady had to endure the task of getting up to speed with what it was that the husband was doing to get them into debt, reading the fine print on paperwork signed and trying to keep her head above water in every way.
It gets even testier when there are children are involved. Was there any money aside for their school fees? Was the house they called home at some point put up as collateral for one of the many transactions the husband was involved in? She was a ‘kept woman’ – but did she have any previous experience she could ride on to get back into the work force or continue on with the business that her husband was running? I never got wind of the answers to those questions, but do imagine that had she been better prepared, perhaps after this life changing tragic event may have been softened.
Ladies, we have to be shrewd about issues of finances. I know people who borrow about town so they can serve a nice roast chicken for dinner every day or keep the pool full. As we know all too well – life can throw some hectic curveballs that often times leave us realising just how unprepared we were. Are there wiser decisions we can make with our money? Are we being good stewards with the money that passes through our hands and our books?
Ever felt like you have much to say on various topics affecting the Zimbabwean woman? Do you have valuable insights on food, nutrition and fitness, finances, economic empowerment and entrepreneurship as relating to women in our communities, family matters, faith and spirituality, fashion trends, style tips – and all those other things that make us so fiercely fabulous?
Challenges in life may be many, but we draw our strength from knowing that there is always someone close by who can offer invaluable advice on how to push on and fight strong. Our journey started through writing yet today we celebrate a movement that excites us just by thinking about what it has become. And we want YOU to become a part of our evolving story!
If you can write (or know someone who can write), and are willing to share your musings on all things navigating life through faith – we invite you to join our team of bloggers. Requirements? None apart from passion to help women do better and be better.
This may very well be your call to inspire and Quintessential F welcomes you! Join us:)
I have been observing the latest turn of events in the #ThisFlag protest movement with keen interest as well as growing dismay as scores of Zimbabweans, who only a few weeks ago were lauding Pastor Evan Mawarire as a “hero” and Zimbabwe’s hope for a better tomorrow, are now tearing into him on various social media platforms. He stands accused at best of being a coward who deserted his followers when they needed him most and at worst, of being a political fraud who manipulated the emotions of the people of Zimbabwe as a means of getting asylum in the United States.
In my view, the first accusation is unfair as it fails to take into account the following key observations:
- Pastor Evan never set out to be the leader of a protest movement. He was just a frustrated citizen who like millions of Zimbabweans, found himself in the unenviable position where he was struggling to provide for his family’s basic needs. That his heartfelt video lament struck a chord within Zimbos the world over and went viral does not automatically transform him into a political leader who is accountable to Zimbabweans at large, no matter how many of us chose to follow him. I think Pastor Evan realised that people were looking up to him and out of his own volition decided to adopt the role of a big brother, speaking for those who might otherwise have been too afraid to speak out.
- Before he became the poster boy for the Zimbabwean protest movement, Pastor Evan was and still is a husband and a father to two young girls. As such, his God-given responsibility is owed first and foremost to his family, and not to the people of Zimbabwe. He has no obligation to put his life at risk and potentially leave a widow and fatherless children just because he dared to speak out against the government (at a time when very few people had the guts to do so). The fact that he has chosen to relocate, whether temporarily or otherwise, to protect his family should not be an issue requiring public consensus nor is it something he should apologise for.
- #ThisFlag is not about one man. It is a rallying cry to all Zimbabweans to rise up and take responsibility for the future we want to see for ourselves and our children. Pastor Evan’s geographical location has nothing to do with the problems we are currently facing in Zimbabwe, nor does it prevent any of us from continuing to speak out against corruption and the other evils plaguing our nation. It doesn’t stop you and I from taking the time to register as voters so that come 2018, we are able to go out in our masses and exercise our democratic right to vote. Your vote DOES count, whether or not you believe it does.
The second accusation, that Pastor Evan is a fraud who misled citizens for personal gain, is equally flawed. This is because it presupposes that Pastor Evan could accurately predict how the #ThisFlag movement would evolve and eventually play itself out. If this theory is true, it would mean that when he made the initial protest video, he knew that:
(a) the video would go viral and that he would gain a cult following;
(b) he would be arrested and charged with inciting public violence (i.e. the infamous “button stick”);
(c) an unprecedented number of people, including hundreds of lawyers, would turn up at the courthouse to support him, thus turning him into an overnight sensation and raising his public and international profile even more;
(d) the charges would subsequently be changed to the more serious charge of subverting a constitutionally elected government;
(d) the Zimbabwe Republic Police would bungle up the case and forget to issue a warned and cautioned statement for the new charges, resulting in the charges being dismissed;
(e) the dismissal of the case and Pastor E’s growing influence would encourage citizens and incite other protest movements like #Tajamuka and #ThisGown to take further action, thus putting him on the government’s radar;
(f) he would be publicly denounced by the highest office in the land, with further threats of incarceration and worse being levelled against him.
(g) he would be forced to flee with his family to South Africa as a result of the threats against his life and liberty.
Pastor Evan would need to have had prior knowledge of all of the above in order to mastermind his clever scheme to deceive the citizens of Zimbabwe into helping him gain international acclaim as a political activist and thus gain asylum in the USA once his life was under threat. Sounds quite ludicrous when you put it like that, doesn’t it?
Apart from requiring one to suspend belief and assume that Pastor E had such prior omniscient knowledge, this accusation is also completely unsupported by any facts. Correlation does not imply causation. The fact that Pastor E may now be eligible for asylum in the US as a result of this turn of events does not mean that he brought about these events in order to get such asylum. It is a sad day when we can go from hailing someone as a man of integrity and principle for so long as he is saying and doing what most of us wish we could and were too scared to do, and then turn around and accuse the same man of manipulation and deceit just because he has made a personal decision that is not favourable to us.
I know some of you will argue that I am just another blind follower who is seeking to silence any criticism against Pastor Evan. Not true. I have no problem with someone expressing their opinion about a public figure, however negative that critique may be, as long as it does not malign and cast aspersions on the integrity of a man who most of us only know from afar and without any basis to support such accusations, other than rumour and innuendo.
What many refuse to acknowledge is that the anger they feel is not really at Pastor E’s decision to leave. It is rather the pain of the loss of a big brother, someone who we could hide behind when the bully came into the playground while we stood in the background shouting “Ngaarowhe! (hit him)” from a safe distance. If truth be told, Pastor Evan’s fearless stance emboldened many of us to find a voice to speak up against the corruption and injustice in this nation, a voice which had become croaky from disuse and fear. Yes, we were afraid of the very thing Pastor Evan now stands accused of. With Pastor E gone, that fear is slowly creeping back, together with the uneasy question: Who will defend us now?
We wanted Pastor E to be willing to risk going to prison, to put his neck on the line while we continued to peep over his shoulder. That time has however come to an end. Big brother has left the playground and we are left to confront the bully by ourselves. So we feel betrayed and exposed. Confronted with the reality that we no longer have a champion on the ground who can take the fallout that is the inevitable consequence of any citizen’s protest movement, we want to lash out at someone, and Pastor E is the nearest target for our rage. That anger is however, misplaced and will ultimately lead us nowhere, except to divide us, thus playing into the hands of those who wish to see this movement come to nothing.
It is time for Zimbabweans to realise that the success of this movement will not depend on whichever personality happens to have sparked it, but on the strength of our unity as we stand up for what we know is right and just. Just as we stood united at the courthouse when Pastor Evan was arrested and subsequently released, we need to stand united in our resolve to see the birth of a better Zimbabwe. We need to be willing to stand on our own two feet and realise that we do not need a designated leader in order to accomplish this. There is a potential leader within each of us and we are capable of effecting national change if we are only willing to step out of our comfort zones and be counted.
QF Chido Mash
I used to think that living a prayerful life meant waking up at 4 am and praying till the day breaks, or spending hours in the church pews calling out to GOD with all sorts of complicated language. Growing up we were taught that praying is in some ways a ritual, that requires complete shutdown so you can hear get out what you need to say to GOD. I have learned from my mom, and walking with other women of faith – that being prayerful is in fact a lifestyle. It involves speaking to GOD about your wishes, what you need, your feelings, your hurts and struggles, your successes and victories at ANY TIME. There is no protocol required – just respect to your MAKER and an open and truthful heart.
Gone are the days where I wait for complete silence before I utter my “Dear GOD…” I found fulfillment in prayer and freedom in my relationship with GOD when I began to understand that GOD does not expect complication in conversation or a big praying event. HE just wants us to speak, as how we would speak to our dads or our best friends. Speak life into yours by speaking to HIM openly, at any time, without limitations. GOD wants state. He already knows what we really want to say, or are really thinking. There is no way to hide our feelings from HIM. But, the ability to lay down your truth, whether you are stuck in traffic or getting ready to visit the doctor or pick up your kid from school – is what GOD is looking for.
Don’t get me wrong. Quiet time is necessary. It is absolutely essential to make time to tap into the WORD of GOD, to pray in solitude as Jesus did often. You need this time to soak up what GOD is saying to you without the distractions of the TV bellowing in the background or that shirt you’ve been debating about buying taking you away from focusing. But as I said before, praying in itself is a lifestyle. I talk to GOD whenever and wherever. He guides me all through my day and grants me peace when making decisions – even the simple ones like which road to take on my way to work or who to speak to for the help that I need. I know HE is there so never feel lonely. As a matter of fact, this is why i enjoy my evening jogs or moments alone – because I get to speak life into my own through my chats with GOD.
I implore you today, to take out the formality in much of your prayer life and just come to HIM. GOD has no limits to the number of times you can talk to HIM or make requests. He just wants you to operate with HIM as you would in any of your most trusted relationships.